BHS To Repaint Building . . . Again

by Ruben Circelli
BHS News

Hot off the heels of a school board committee meeting, Braintree High School announced Sunday, February 9th their intention to repaint their building the same “prison-gray” color repainted on last year.

The decision to again repaint the school was reportedly unanimous. When asked about the decision an administrator said “You can’t judge books from our school by their covers because most don’t have one, but I’m very pleased how seriously our faculty and students take academics is represented by our walls.”

Administrators are not the only staff members pleased by the committee’s choice, as English teacher Robert Marx shopped online on his phone for an in-class computer capable of simultaneous time telling and paper grading he was reported as saying to a news representative. “I’m just glad the money is going where it’s needed most.”

Some controversy was generated by students toward the previous committee decision to repaint the school the first time, though second time around some students seemed to have warmed to the idea. Student Kevin Kokomani said “When I first heard they were repainting the school I wondered why, now I just don’t question it.”

To some the decision was met with mixed feelings as to whether there would be a better use for taxpayer dollars. In an interview with a member of the custodial staff who would prefer to remain nameless, the decision to repaint was labeled as “not as good as buying a new mop,” while a school-wide poll shows 76% of the student body “distinctly not giving a darn.” Sources close to the deliberations of the committee report new textbooks or curriculum materials were not considered, but that the committee is “close to securing new turf for the football and soccer fields.”

This is a humorous, Onion style, article. It is not a news article about an actual occurrence.