The Taster: C’Mon Man

by The Taster
BHS News Staff

The Taster is BACK! After a delicious summer of fried lobster with melted butter, visiting the Coca-Cola Headquarters in Georgia, and filling my Big Gulp infinity times, The Taster is back for your (re)viewing pleasure.
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As the summer winds down and fall approaches, the culinary world blasts its consumers with a plethora of pumpkin, apple, and cinnamon cornucopias. But for The Taster’s newest review, I’ll be channeling my inner Monday Night Countdown, my inner Berman, my inner Chris Carter for a Taster version of “C’MON MAN!”
Keyshawn
#3: Oreo’s
CarterPumpkin Oreo
Hey Oreo, no need to get crazy and/or try to jump on the fall flavored band wagon.
With flavors like fruit punch, limeade, watermelon, and more recently candy corn and pumpkin, your design lab seems to be just throwing darts at a food filled dart board.
How about you stick to what us chinners’ like: a sleeve of Double-Stuffed (possibly Mega Stuffed if I’m feeling crazy) dipped in a cold glass of milk. If I wanted my fruit punch fix the last place I’d look is in between your cookies. C’MON MAN!

#2: Pizza Hut Skinny Slice
Pizza Hut
When I am craving something healthy, the first establishment that comes to mind is certainly Pizza-Hut!

Pizza-Hut, the same place that just introduced bacon and cheese stuffed crust pizza is now coming out with a Skinny Pizza, C’MON MAN!!

Is this a joke? Are their design lab exec’s bi-polar?

Maybe they made a deal with Michelle Obama that they could introduce the bacon stuffed crust as long as they make a skinny option for those who are afraid to live a little. Described as “thinner crust and lighter on the cheese and toppings” Is this some sick game Pizza-Hut is playing? People are paying more money, for less pizza? I almost start to respect the audacity that Pizza Hut has to do this. Almost.

A Pizza Hut representative stated “It may be attractive to a customer who might not be including pizza in their regular choice of meals.” If you don’t include pizza in your repertoire of feasts, then you should just get out.

C’MON MAN!

On top of this, they market it as a “Skinny SLICE” yet they do not offer it by the slice, so the person who is trying to eat healthy either has to a.) Eat a whole pizza by themselves which mutes the “healthier option” b.) Convince their friends to go in on a Skinny Pizza with them, and what kind of sick person would do that? c.) Create a group on Facebook or put an ad in the paper to gather all the Skinny Slice pizza types together to all go an enjoy a pizza with “less” on it and pay more money for it… C’MON MAN!

#1: McDonald’s “Dollar Menu & MORE”
Dollar Menu
Don’t get me wrong, McDonald’s is still my go to when I need to quench my fast food thirst, but “Dollar Menu…and More”?

Oh, so by “more” you mean just the rest of your menu, right?

C’MON MAN!

McDonalds

I know times are tough, but C’MON MAN! Let’s not put $5 items anywhere near the vicinity of a value menu.

C’MON MAN!

Hope you enjoyed this installment of THE TASTER. Please leave comments of what you’d like The Taster to review next.

The Taster is Braintree High News’s anonymous food critic.